i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
