This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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