the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
