You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
