If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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