You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize