im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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