I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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