I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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