between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
