I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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