Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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