the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Let's get the cat blown out
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
