This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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