Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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