Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she smelled like a LAN party
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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