two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
