So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize