People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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