only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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