So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
