moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
