my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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