So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
