He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
