Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
