hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
