you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I love having hate sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize