GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
