hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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