I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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