Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
id be glad to
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
