I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
