Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
