Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
