All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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