that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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