addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
