at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
