hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
