Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
