youre lurking in front of me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How external is "for external use only"?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
