Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
