just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
