It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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