Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
