I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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