Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
