Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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