Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
