Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
