im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
