Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
