So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
