it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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