Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
