He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize