and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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