What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
