I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
