dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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