I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
