I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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