Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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