It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Found your dick twin last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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