sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
