All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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