Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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